3 WAYS TO DEAL WITH LOST TIME
- Pascale Yav
- Dec 17, 2020
- 4 min read
“What have I achieved this year?”. If this question makes you even the slightest bit uncomfortable, then this article is just for you! Dealing with lost time is something many people struggle with, especially close to year-end. In as much as the festivities are plenty, there is also this reflective energy in the air that has people contemplating what they have done with their lives over the past 12 months. “Did I meet my goals; get that promotion; found the love of my life?”. And when the answer to those questions is no, it can send any optimistic soul into a downward spiral. And perhaps all the heavy drinking during the festive season provides an escape from the reality of one’s failures, setbacks, and struggles in dealing with lost time.
Listen, I know the Covid-19 pandemic has been looong, so a slight sense of lost time is normal considering the time it took to adjust to new rhythms, systems, and ways of living. Lockdown went on so long, it gave me the illusion that both myself and my projects were on an indefinite holiday! Oh, the procrastination, darling…don’t even get me started.
And while we’re at it, it is also safe to say I am now officially allergic to Zoom meetings, and I linger onto hugs a second longer than I normally did pre-Covid! As I digress…
Having the courage to continue can be challenging, especially when you realize that the only thing that has moved forward this year in your life is time (and maybe grey hairs too). Maybe you had really intended for that relationship to grow; or for your career to take off; or to finally take on that travelling opportunity. I am sorry it didn’t happen. If only “I am sorry” and “better luck next time” were enough to undo the pain of lost time. But while we can’t always undo what has happened, we can better learn to deal with lost time, and below are 3 ways to do that.
1. ACCEPT THAT TIME IS GONE
I hate to burst your bubble, but there is still no time machine out there. And no amount of stress over lost time can turn back time to do what you should have, could have, and would have done.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference" – Reinhold Niebuhr
Start by acknowledging (and even mourning) what you lost. By accepting that time is gone, you free yourself from the pressure to change something you no longer have control over, since it has already happened. Your power may instead rest in your ability to prevent the same thing from happening in future by recognizing unhealthy habits and patterns that lead to regret, time wasting, and that weird reluctance to step up when the occasion arises.
2. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
If absolutely everything went wrong this year, you wouldn’t still be alive. It sounds cliché, I know, but if you’re reading this right now (come on, smile a bit), then something went right. Yes, you didn’t get that job, but your health is still intact. Yes, your health may not be in tact, but you have great relationships and a supportive community to draw from. If you still have breath in your lungs, YOU. HAVE. SOMETHING TO BE GRATEFUL FOR.
As overwhelming as lost time can be, don’t just see your obstacles and losses, celebrate the wins and opportunities you’ve had as well. Count the meaningful moments, the healthy habits you’ve built, and those things you’ve let go of that no longer serve you. Despite the time I lost through procrastination this year, I give myself major credit for pushing past the body aches and fatigue during my Covid recovery to pass my exams; and for my willingness to explore my more creative side through song writing this year (and I’m not too shabby, hey). Count your blessings and be proud of yourself!
3. PRACTICALLY PLAN AHEAD
Part of accepting that time is gone also includes acknowledging what we did wrong. Evaluate yourself: your actions, choices, and surroundings. When successful leaders set their vision for the years to come, they also plan in retrospect – by considering how previous mistakes that led to downfall can be avoided in future.
Success occurs when opportunity meets preparation– Zig Ziglar
When planning ahead, be brutally honest with yourself about what you will do (actions), your decisions (choices), and how your environment either facilitates or hinders your growth (surroundings). Identify time-wasting activities (watching TV, toxic relationships, relaxing when you should be working, procrastination…that’s right, throw them in this bracket) and set goals that are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Timely). Listen close: don’t bother making radical changes that will only end up overwhelming you. For example, if fitness is your goal, commit to start with 10 minutes daily exercises for a week, and build it up with time, until you eventually get to that 45-minute workout 3 months from then. This is a great example of a SMART goal, mostly because it is attainable and realistic.
Acceptance is crucial in dealing with lost time. However, counting your blessings and planning ahead goes a step further to ensure that past mistakes are not repeated, and life is lived more intentionally. While we’re not able to change things that happened in the past, we can adjust our attitudes by taking responsibility for our actions, decisions, and surroundings. And remember, just because it didn’t happen this year, does not mean it cannot happen again next year. Set new goals, plan for the future, and refuse to be a victim of your circumstances. You’ve got this, so better luck next time!
Comments