WHY YOU SHOULD NOT GET RID OF YOUR MEMORIES

I’ve always known I love to write. As a little girl I would keep a diary with all my thoughts and feelings about my day and the week. But I would make sure those diaries were hidden somewhere far away, cause God-forbid my Mom read them and found out about the boys I had a crush on at school...just the thought of that on its own was embarrassing! So when high school ended, I was ready to “start afresh” and literally burn down the Maths books and the memories of a phase now passed…including the boys I crushed on.

Memories are a reminder of emotions once felt around an event, thing, or person. And these can be positive or negative in nature. I find that we are always ready to discard items that trigger memories of a negative emotion we once experienced. My uncle hates rice. “But it’s just rice, though?” you say. Yes, to you, it’s just rice. To him, rice is a reminder of the many days, months, and years he HAD to eat it to survive while he was still a student…AKA, The Broke Life. I’m sure you’ve got your own “rice” too. My high school diaries were my rice – the memories of an immature, young girl whose identity floated and depended on what her fake friends were up to. Now don’t get me wrong, high school was amazing, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. But I was more than happy to park that memory there.

The day I discovered that my thoughts, dreams, and ideas mattered was the day I basically swore to never get rid of my diaries again. So now as an adult, I “journal”, darling! Because I have come to experience that “as a man thinketh, so is he”. I didn’t know it then, but by journaling I was expressing my experience of being in wrestling matches with different emotional opponents. And trust me, some of these opponents were bigger and stronger than me. Insecurity. Frustration. Envy. Uncertainty. But the end of every journaling session was like the exit of a building: The match is done. The fans are gone. The commentators had nothing else to say. It was just me. What do I think of me? And how do I process the feelings behind the victory or loss from the battle I’ve just been through?

In journaling, I may not have always found solutions, but I discovered new opponents, as well as their wrestling styles and intimidation tactics. So, when the match was on again, I knew how to recognize one opponent from the other and become aware of what I was up against. I also discovered that some opponents don’t need to be entertained (same with the fans too, really), and that I could always decline a match I wasn’t interested in. That, darling, is the power of MEMORY. In journaling, I was building memories of my understanding of different emotions and the way it manifested on various occasions: when I lost, and when I won the match. Granted, I cringe every time I read stuff I wrote about 5 years ago. But more than cringe, my journals are a solid tracker of my personal growth journey and a reflection of my changes in priorities over the years. And hey, how do you know you’re changing, unless you’re tracking that change?

When used appropriately, memories can help with problem solving and serve as a strategy to remind you of how far you’ve come. Maybe you didn’t notice that you’ve become more reserved in the way you share yourself with others. Or that you don’t have as many outbursts of anger. When you know what has improved, you’re able to maintain it and grow it further. And when you recognize what has not improved, you’re more likely to do something about it, than if you hadn’t noticed in the first place. Your memories play a huge role in your growth and development. Don’t. Get. Rid. Of. Them.

I know that you may have already parked or even buried that memory of that unwanted emotion. When you get a moment this week, take some time to recognize which opponent you’re up against: laziness, lack of motivation, fear. And if you have even just a vague memory of wrestling with this opponent in the past, decide if you’ll be fighting back, or if this may be a match you would be better off rather declining. And the next time you feel tempted to discard all those memories of loss or defeat, remember they’ve made you the person you are, so BE WISE ABOUT THAT FEELING!

#Memories #AsAManThinketh #Journaling #WrestingWithEmotions #ProblemSolving #PersonalDevelopment #Emotionalintelligence